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layout: detonatedlove♥
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okie.. suzi is smiling now.. and i was trying to think of a blog entry title.. so she said " suzi is smiling now.." so here it is! my blog title.. hahaha nothing related to by blog entry though.. hahaha


so.. wad shall i say? suzi is still smiling like a geeky person.. spastic person..


okie, shall talk about my new tuition kid. she is nice, but shy. but she seriously needs help in her academics. i was quite shock as to how she managed to pass her promos. she doesnt know how to do chemical calculation or even the dissociation equation of water: h20 -> h+ + OH-... haiz. judging from where she stay, i guess her family aint very well-to-do... told my mum that i kinda feel bad charging her $30/hr.. i'm not sure whether i'm adding significantly to her family's financial burden.. maybe if it is.. i might end up giving her free tuition.. again. then my mum say im too sentimental. am i?


Tmr will be the release of the A level results. was thinking how David james will fair for his chemistry. felt really bad stopping tuition when i started sch in september. but like i told him, there is nothing more i can teach him; the rest is seriously up to him to make the effort the revise on his own. kept thinking was it right to leave "in the lurch" when the big A was around the corner then, but i realised that he was capable of performing well as he managed to score a B for prelims.. no matter what, i pray for the best for him.


Today, I discovered God's gift bestowed upon me: the gift of helping people. I hate to give tuition cos i have to travel to and fro places and that makes me really tired physically. but when i am teaching my tuition kiddos.. i realised that i was able to think of alot of analogies to help explain the concepts better to them... well, bio and chem. And i was given the energy to teach despite feeling physically tired before the tuition.


Thank God.

today marks the end of by break week.. tomorrow comes another "break-myself" week..


i'm dreading the coming week.. ltb project and meetings.. mpw test..fa test.. tuitions.. my 3rd advance test.. i'm losing my motivation to study. im very exhausted by this week.. been in school every single day for 2 weeks straight and im aint looking forward to this week.


Was talking to jean yesterday and we agreed that we should be prepared to stay back in school or stay over in school for the next few weeks to finish up all the projects. yeah. so much for this break week.. this break week was supposed to be a break for all of us.. but it is kinda known that break weeks are for finishing up projects.. yet despite having these break weeks...projects aren't progressing and we still have to stay back in school... blah.


i just hope i wun burn out.. i can really sense that im very exhausted to the point that my brains aren't working at half-capacity.. aint putting effort in studying for test/ doing my projects.. maybe what suzi said was right: i'm pinning all my hopes on March11.. all my hopes on the possibility that i will not be studying economics next year. and if i dont get what i hope for, i might really lose all will to study...


maybe im putting alot of stuff on myself and not relying on Him much. i wanna learn to live day by day, week by week, and cast my cares on Him, but i dont know how.


But at this point of time, just want to tell james, suzi,my ltb and comms group that im sorry if i ever disappointed you while doing projects.


To my yd mates-belle,nicole, aurelia- and joe tee, zhixian, bj:
thanks for ya concern.. i miss you guys.. sorry for being MIA for so long.. will not try to run off straight after yd.. :)


To ting: thanks so much for your encouragement and staying back late at my house on wed.. :) miss you too!


to edmund: edmund edmund edmund! dont complain that i never mention your name in my blog.. hahahahhahahahaha :) thanks for the treat at newton circus!! :)

had tennis on wed... having tennis later at 3pm..


lemme tell how great tennis was on wed. hahaha.. edmund will kill me.. but nvm.:)


so.. i was minding my own business while waiting for the bus to bring us to nus.. and then my eye-candy appeared.. with a tennis racquet(i think i cant spell for nuts).. haha HE WAS GOING TO NUS tOO!!!!!!! hahaa..


and so.. he was one for the instructors for the tennis clinic.. and he taught my group.. darn.. charming smile man..


and there was another instructor.. called ivan.. so he made us do some forehand drills... under the hot blazing sun.. i thought it was quite fun.. until i started having chestpains.. and i was blacking out.. he was briefing us and was going on and on and on.. and i began to see huge black spots... i knew i was abt to faint but i didnt have the energy to say it out.. when he finally stop talking...i managed to tell him that i needed a break.. i sat down and blacked out for a few seconds.. and boy it felt horrible..


maybe i shld have fainted ya? then my eye-candy will come to my rescue.. hahahahahhahahahahhahahaa...


so.. i met up with shyuan, liping and felicia that night for some clubbing.. ok i'm not a clubber.. i just like to dance with a group of close friends ya? we went mos and boy it was fun. fel pulled me to the platform to dance.. so embarrassing lah! but the songs that the djs were playing was sosososososososoosso retro and fun.. so we were doing all the retro-actions. they played "call me" and den foam-snow came falling down like.. snow.. hmm... with blasts of mist.. so fun... hahha...


"call me!.. call me!.. baby, won't you call me now??..." hahaha

hmmm.. my topic sounds alittle depressing but who bothers..


okie.. had a bad week last week.. and this week doesnt look anywhere optimistic. A quick update on wads have/haven't happened last week since my last blog..


as expect/predicted/guessed/confirmed: yesh.. i failed my 2nd attempt in passing my advance theory. but i can seriously tell u!!! i knew the answers to most of the qns!! the worst part was that those qn that i don't know how to answer was not from the guide book! not fair! i aint learning driving yet!.. argh!


so.. it was pretty depressing then.. there goes the possibility of me getting a license by may.. gone!


was at waikiki yesterday at sentosa.. was under the tent most of the time.. supposed to help out in the sound system. but in the end, they got professionals to do it.. so i wonder why in the world they needed us to be there..


Expected alot of hunks to be there.. but there were none of them.. all were hunks-wannabe-but-nowhere-near-there. gee!


ANYway.. alex from BE was kind enough to give johnny, shah, wanida and i a lift to sentosa.. he was emcee-ing with johnny for the first shift. that poor guy wore a very good pair of shades that totally blocked out the sun's harmful rays.. so much so.. he looked like an inverse-panda. his entire face was tomato red but the area protected by the shades were almost white! but he still left sentosa with pride: on monday.. he won a ipod nano.. yesterday, he won a ipod shuffle.. now i would be an inverse panda if i had that trade!!!


but.. im nowhere near an inverse panda.. instead, i have burnt skin on my shoulders and neck.. a sleeveless-tattoo.. haiz.. i need hazel cream.. help!


my brother left for aussie just now.. i thought he would be back in june.. but he is coming back in december instead.. i felt quite sad actually.. although i find him a pain in my neck sometimes..afterall, he is still my bro.. my family/home is incomplete without him, yah?

had a bad day, indeed.


first was a millipede crawled out of my BK bun..


Then, i screwed up my comms presentation.. by stammering. WHY did i do that?? i hardly stammer in presentations!


Next, realised that my ltb project aint going well.. couldnt work with caltex to bring the kids for food delivery.. and everyone seems to be too busy to meet the organisations.


following, i have advance theory test tmr morning and i havent studied


second-lastly, have to do another hw for microecons due later at 5pm.. and havent studied/revised for the weekend test.


lastly, my break week is full of academic stuff.. break-myself-up-week.

to my dear edmund:

happy 1 year anniversary.. and happy valentine's day.. and i will be happy if i got an ipod nano/video:)

i'm having microecons now..

boring boring boring boring boring boring...

i'm understanding nuts abt whatever the prof is talking about.. neither do i understand whatever the people in my class are talking about.. they were talking about a book by steven-ihavenoideawhateverhissirnameis..it's called FREAKANOMICS.. yah.. freak-economics.. wadever man.. sometimes i really wish that they understand that whatever they are talking about in class aint really contributing to the experiential learning of smu... AKA.. please dont confuse us with ur geeky intelligence.. if you have any..

okie.. suzi is sitting beside me now.. and she asked me to put her name in everysingle blog entry.. so suzi.. here is ur name :suzi.. x3!!!!

cant wait for after class... gonna meet jianxiong to get my new birkies !! all the way from germany! and i got it for half the price of singapore...!!!! yay.. new sandles for v-day.. i'm happy. the next thing i need is a new mobile phone.. n 7370?:) the one with the flowery design.. nice!

and i would love an ipod.. HINT!!! .. cmon.. i dun have a mp3 player!

hi. this is my 5th blog.


see.. im not a consistent blog. i cant blog like everyday. im lazy..


I'm recovering from what grace calls it: the -unusual-4-strikes-baseball game. the 4 sufferings of fri.. 3 bumps and a stitch pain. haha.. i think im really having amnesia. i had to go to sch today for comms meeting. so i woke up.. brushed my teeth etc. and wanted to go deposit money in my a/c before taking the train. so after depositing money.. i was at the train station and i realised i forgot to take my hp out.. so i walked all the way home..


argh!


so had comms meeting.. and we realised.. turkey's (the country) turkey (the bird) has bird flu.. hahhahahaha ok.. not funny.


edmund called me and we were both not really in the mood for valentine's day. its supposed to be our 1st year anniversary too. but just not in the mood. so he asked whether we could forgo the gifts thing. usually, i will go nuts.. ok.. maybe just angry. but to my very own surprise, i wasn't angry at all. the thought that that week i would have tests and presentations really turn the lovey-dovey mood off... but my dear edmund: i'm still expecting something.. BIG HINT!!


today, i met debao, my ex-bf, for dinner.. supposed to treat him dinner becos i dunno what to get him for his 21st birthday. but we ended up eating at bk.. nice.


we were talking alot abt the past.. abt peggy and gang... abt his life and gfs. it was quite interesting actually cos his life was quite dramatic. you could write some tv drama script, yah? a almost-sucidal-gf... almost-got-together-gf-who-has-a-possessive-male-friend experience.. hahhaa we were also talkin about our days in zhss.. and i realised: i cant remember much of zhss days.. i dunno whether i can't or i dont want to remember them. Meiting and i kinda agreed that its not really worth to remember how we spent our teenage days in zhss.. plainly full of immature bgrs... haiz.


anyway, suzi has this gay senior from secondary. his blog is just plainly full of description of gay sex. according to suzi, she said that this guy is trying to write a blog in a woman's point of view. but cmon!! who in the world will devote an ENTIRE blog to gay sex?! Enning commented that he is a disgrace to the gay community! AGREED, girl! this guy said that women should live with a sole purpose of giving sexual pleasure to man..cmon lah! wake up your idea, dude! even prostitutes hate the idea of having to sleep with men everyday.. does he REALLY think that he knows a woman's worth? haiz.. but i think u shld really take a look at his blog. tag me and i will show u the link..


yup..love was supposed to be in the air.. where is it now?


i think the only love im experiencing now is His love..

hello..this is my 4th blog entry...


today is a "make-ups" day.. lessons i mean. just had microecons in the morning and going to have comms in an hours time. we had lunch with our microecons prof.. and i thought that he doesnt behave like one..(in a good sense). he is always smiley and he watches " Zhng my car!" which is a singaporean version of mtv's "pimp my ride". hahaha.. it's available at www.mrbrown.com if u want. sometimes i wonder why i'm doing econs now. really wonder. i'm not really cut out to work in the corporate world.. aint interested in making money.. maximising profits.. blah blah blah. but then again, econs aint just about making profits and blah blah blah.. it's the study of people's decision-making behaviour. and this really keeps me going when i feel like switching course/degree. but then again, i would rather study medicine than this.. hahaha


anyway, had tennis yesterday. and clement wasn't my coach! ahhahhahaa.. it was pretty embarrassing (hope i spelt it right) at first cos i get missing the hits.. or hitting high shots.. or not hitting the ball at the centre of the racquet. and my tennis grip was shedding its "skin".. kinda disgusting. kept thinking "why am i here!!". but to fulfill my dream of beatiing edmund in tennis.. hehe okie. Anyway, when we were practising, weibo's ball hit my cheeks.. aww.. and that wasn't the end....


the thought of travelling to and fro nus and smu really sux.. i hate travelling man~ get sleepy and all.. argh! ANYWAY i went back smu after tennis to put my shoes into my locker and get my laptop. i also decided to bathe at smu's gyms. but when i stepped into the gym, i had an urge to run. so i walked quickly to my locker and i hit against the door of the top locker.. STRIKE 2!! and it was pain like.. i cant describe it! the girls in the locker room were like "omG! u ok..." and i was in my semi-conscious state.. ouch.


when i recovered from the hit.. i went to run.. and 10 mins into the run.. i had stitches ( issit spelt like this?). hurts like... i can't describe it either. after run, i needed a bath badly. i stank. so i walked briskly to the locker room again and LO and BEHOLD, i hit my forehead.. and it was pain like... when a hammer hits your brain.. it still hurts till today.. i think there is a bump. ouch.


so i went to bathe.. and when i went back to my locker.. i couldnt unlock it... the girl whose locker was above mine couldnt either. so we went to get the master key. nice girl. her name is shujuan i think.. yr 4 major in econs and finance! anyway.. we were talking and talking and she decided to bathe and i had to leave to meet suzi. while taking the lift at sess, i realised.. i forgot to take my tennis racquet from the locker.. so i went back to take it... haiz..


and when i wanted to tie my hair today.. i realised: i left my hair clip in the toilet.


i think i'm having amnesia. too many knocks on the head aint good. i'm losing my memory. help.

my 3rd blog...

i'm finally quite satisfied with my blog skin and layout.. decided not give another thought for it cos it is costing my time.. hahaha..


met lish for lunch at TCC @smu. i'm spluging again! well, she had lagsana and i had apricot-crust dory fish and boy.. it was super-licious! top with apricot sauce and coated with pulped-apricot.. the dory fish was finally laid above a bed of smooth mash potatoes before the dish was served... heavenly.. beats macaroni-gratin! (meiyan! u should try it!)..


talked about our lives and thoughts... didnt notice that Brother Paul was sitting at the long table at TCC with ex-cjcians.. he still has that small square head and huge rectangle body that he is known to have by our class.. hahhaa okie, forgive me. i'm not a feminist advocate or something like that.. but i just feel that guys are born jerks today.. just today. after my talk with lish.. i think that faithful and loving guys have ceased to exist in the world today. hence, we girls should learn to be emotionally independent of them.


well, think about this: if girls do not exist in the world, the only reason guys would wish that girls exist is to put their "other" head to good use. On the other hand, if guys do not exist in the world, then the reason why girls would wish that guys exist is to shower them with TLC! someone to make them feel important, significant, loved and to depend on emotionally.


sounds cliche,eh? haha but very few guys can really do it... well nvm.. i just wanna sterotype guys just for today. period.


our comms prof approached my group and asked us whether we could let an indian guy join our group. then suzi and i were like "how come we keep adopting people into our groups??!!" first was for FA, now for comms.. blah. every group doesnt want him, neither do we... not because we dont like him. but because our timetable might clash and cmon! we have 5 people currently; 6 is definitely a crowd! but we felt bad cos he is like kinda like a "reject" or "outcast"... and we were like openly discussing whether to take him into our group with the prof in front of him lah! i just hope that he will not be a free-rider or anywhere near it like... nvm.. (you know who, suzi)


anyway, i'm gonna have my first official tennis lesson tmr at NUS.. and clement will be coaching... Can he coach at the first place? (ouch!) hahahhaha.. ok lah.. shall TRY to change my point of view since he's my ltb proj mate.. kidding clement! :P

hello.

this is my blog..
if meiting sees this, she will be exclaiming "OMG!!"..

im not a blogger, but due to peer pressure from chuikhim and suzi, i have decided to create one and experience first-hand the "joy" of blogging..



actually, the main purpose of setting up this blog is an ode to ZF( suzi knows this too well :P). wanted to name it www.fa-is-fun-without-zf.blogspot.com...

but then again.. my new year's resolution is to be less judgemental.. to give a benefit of a doubt to people whom i dun really have a good impression of.. so i shan't be so mean, ya?


okie, i'm supposed to be paying attention to mpw class.. we are studying personalities and the different personality tests to evaluate people's personalities(duh!).. did the ever-popular mbti test and im a ENFP... im an extroverted, intuitive, feeling and perceptive person.. whoah...

and another test concluded that im a collective person.. instead of an individualistic one.. darn.. so much for being individualistic...


ah..nvm.. and for ur info tholomas, i was not nervous today at FA... i was shivering cos i was cold!

its almost 2 am.. and i just finished settling the dumb blog of mine..
maybe im not fated to be a blogger.. i cant find the photos that i had uploaded...!!!
so irritating.. argh!


anyway, vegus just msged me.. well.. almost everyone who read my msn nick where like "omg jayne! u have a blog?!! it's so not you!!"


hmm... okie.. i'll take it as a compliment! :)


okie, abt my day.. watched fearless with meiyan after FA.. had lunch at thai express though.. man, we miss khao lak and khao phat gai so much that we had to satisfy our urge to eat some thai food to reminsce the days of SFH...


back to the movie.. fearless was quite ok.. better than i expected it to be. the only funny thing was jet li sounded like a horny ah-pek when he spoke in the earlier part of the movie.. the pitch was too high and all.. then i discovered that it is his natural voice! poor guy.. and that jap fighter at the end of the movie looked not-so-bad.. just that the pupils of his eyes were too big.. so much so that it is as if he had alien eyes ( those w/o the white part of the eye).. ewwww....


speaking of good looking actors, i watched king kong during CNY.. CNY was so boring that i forced myself to watch this dreadful show.. for a moment, i thought that the actress in the movie was IN-LOVE with king kong!


in-love with a primate??... ewww...


but then again, my cousin's friend and i agreed that king kong satisfy all the requirements of being a potential, eligible bachelor: he is TALL (ok.. huge is a better adj to describe it) , DARK ( he is black lah..), and Handsome (for an ape, at least)... hahaha ok.. lame


so maybe next time, if the world is left with jerkish male homo-sapiens, we girls know who/what to look for... *thinks*.... ewww..... nah.. i will nv be with an ape.. i would rather die..


okie... im tired.. this is my 2nd blog.. :)

jayne, 21
smu econs
needs a reboot in her life.
needs to eat and exercise more.
waiting on Him